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September 29th, 2011 at 3:25 pm

 

There is no doubt a lot of stress is involved with taking care of your elderly parents.  As people continue to live longer more and more families are having to figure out "how to take care of your parents."
 


I know I have been in this situation for quite a while now. My mom is 93, my mother-in law is 83. Both have their health issues including dementia. Taking care of your parents is not just stressful for you it is also stressful for the parent. Suddenly the roles are reversed and they have become dependent.

While it can be really stressful dealing with your loved ones needs and making decisions I have found what often causes the most stress is dealing with siblings. What do you do when everybody is not on the same page?
 

 

The following steps have helped me to maintain some sense of balance and relieve some of the stress. I hope they will help you also.

  1. Make time out for you.  If you are the care giver this is #1 because if you are not taking care of yourself you will not be good for anyone else. It is like when you are in an airplane, they tell you when the oxygen mask comes down put it on yourself first. If you try to help someone else you may pass out and cannot help yourself or anyone else. Every day find time to take a walk, listen to a guided meditation, journal, pray, take a long relaxing bath or whatever really helps you to unwind both your body and your mind. Long walks outside with my dogs really help me to get my balance back and release some of the stress. The stress of being a care giver whether full or part time can have serious consequences on your health.
  2. Remember everybody handles stress differently.Try to see their side.  There will be some siblings that want to take charge and others who just want to bury their head in the sand. If talking always escalates into a screaming match back off- try to express your thoughts in writing instead. When emotions are charged nobody ends up hearing what the other has said. If you choose to send an email, have someone else look over it to make sure you do not convey feelings you didn't want to. Also wait a day or two before sending especially if you are feeling a lot of stress and your emotions are running high. Once the email has been sent it cannot be retracted and can be read over and over. The intention is not to hurt or upset the other person but to try and build a bridge where you can hopefully meet in the middle.
  3. The most important thing to remember is taking care of your parent. If you do not have power of attorney you may have to just accept the fact that there are things you cannot change. Do your best to work with all parties involved. If you are the one with the power of attorney then you may have to be the one to make tough decisions. Know that the decisions you make will be under the scutiny of your siblings. They will not like everything you do but if you know in your heart that you are doing what is best you can live with your decision. I have been on both sides and neither is easy.
  4. Let go of what others think you should be doing. Do the best you can, that is all anyone can expect of you and it is all you should expect of yourself.


 
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September 21st, 2011 at 4:02 pm

I often see clients who have a lot of anxiety about their memory.

 

It just seems that they cannot remember things as well as they used to. This lack of memory leads to high levels of anxiety as they wonder whether they may be coming down with altzheimers or some other type of dementia.

 

The problem is often stress. And of course the more they worry the more they stress. What a viscious cycle!

When you are stressed your body releases high levels of cortisol into your bloodstream. Cortisol destroys glucose and glucose is the brains only source of food. So if your brain isn't getting the nutrients it needs then it makes sense it will not function as well.

 

Add the following into your daily routine to reduce high stress levels and keep you stress resilient.

 

  • Exercise- Essential for brain health.  Regular exercise will reduce the levels of cortisol and send those feel good endorphines into your body. You don't have to spend a lot of time. 20 to 30 minutes a day. A nice walk before bed will also help you get a good night sleep helping you to be more productive and focused the next day. That will help to reduce your stress levels as well.
  • Practice breathing exercises. The breath is the quickest way to shift you from anxious to calm in a matter of seconds.
  • Aromatherapy- Certain olis such as lavander and chamomile have been proven to help you move into a calm state. Oils can be infused into the air, added to a bath or added to a massage cream or oil and massaged into the skin.

 

 

As a Life Coach and Stress Specialist I can help you create a plan to keep the stress gremlins away so you can enjoy more of your life! ~ Kathryn

 

 

 

 

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September 16th, 2011 at 3:09 pm

 

 The bills keep piling up, your car is on the fritz or maybe your
 
relationship is going nowhere. You feel as though you are teetering on the edge of a cliff with nothing to hang on to. Regardless of the cause your body is pumping out hormones such as cortisol causing you to feel anxious and depressed.
You can regain your balance. You can lower your stress levels and change how you feel though no matter what is happening around you. From food to fun these five stress tips will keep your life in balance.
 
  1. Pump up on vitamin C
 
Studies have shown that people who pump up on Vitamin C before giving a speech have lower levels of cortisol and lower blood pressure that those who don’t . Berries are a good source of vitamin C and since the carbs in berries turn to sugar very slowly, you won't have a blood sugar crash. Eat them slowly one by one using the Zen method of completely concentrating on each berry. Or if you choose, peel an orange slowly savoring each juicy bite and just feel your body relax.
 
  1. Go for the Guacamole
 
Stress quickly depletes your B vitamins, needed to maintain nerves and brain cells. The B vitamins are commonly referred to as the stress vitamin. Chow down on guacamole to get a healthy serving of B. It you are craving something creamy this just may do the trick. Scoop it up with whole grain baked chips. The crunching will keep you from grinding your teeth.
 
  1. Breathe
 
Consciously. Take just a minute or two to notice how you are breathing. Put one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Take a deep breath. Now notice…..which hand moved more? The one on your chest or the one on your belly? If you said the hand on your chest moved more then you are breathing shallow. You are not getting enough oxygen into your body and not releasing enough carbon monoxide. This is a very common occurrence in someone who is suffering stress.
 
Why is this important? Well for starters, your brain needs 25% of all of the oxygen you take in. If your brain is getting short-changed how effective will your decision making be? Breathing from the abdomen or deep breathing will ensure that you not only get the oxygen your body and mind needs but will also help you to release toxins and waste products that your body doesn’t need. This will help to take the tightness out of your shoulders and neck or the stiffness out of your low back.
 
Once you get the hang of breathing properly check in every now and then and see how you are doing. Awareness is the key. When your stress levels rise your breath will become shallow. The quickest and easiest way you can lower your stress level is to just breathe.
 
  1. Take the day off
 
Take a play day and do something you have wanted to do, like go to the museum or a drive in the country. Do something that you tell yourself that you can’t do because you don’t have the time. Just do it! Take the day off with no agenda, just a day filled with time for you. Don’t pick up the laundry or go to the store or do anything for anyone else. This is a “ME” day! If you find guilt creeping up your back simply brush it off and say, “This day is for me. I deserve it and after it is over I will be a much better person because I took time for me!” Your mind will become clearer and you will find that you are able to accomplish more and make better decisions after taking that much needed rest from worry.
 
  1. Take a walk and repeat positive affirmations
 
When your mind is running amuck with all of the thoughts that are causing you stress lace up your tennis shoes and go for a walk out doors. Repeating positive affirmations over and over will help to replace worrisome thoughts with more pleasant ones. If you are walking out doors and no one is around say these out loud; otherwise repeat them silently in your head. You might say something like, “Each and every day I am getting better, better and better in every way or my good comes in expected and in unexpected ways.” Make up your own or borrow from someone. It may seem silly at first but you will soon find your spirits lifting and your worries a thing of the past.
 
Author- Kathryn Watson
 
 
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September 15th, 2011 at 3:58 pm

1) Drinking coffee: In an effort to keep pace with the increasing demands from daily life, many people try to adopt coping strategies and comfort foods. One of the rising trends is the consumption of coffee. Caffeine is the active ingredient in coffee; it is a stimulant which arouses many physiological responses including the survival mechanism known as the "Flight-Fight" response.

 

When caffeine consumption becomes a regular habit, it can trigger an anxiety-type physical reaction. Caffeine stimulates the brain wave activity and it can arouse a tired mind. This is the most desired response for people who are sleep deprived.


However this can also backfire and cause disturbed sleep and irritability, leading to a poor quality of mood during the day.Caffeine can also cause an increase in skeletal muscle tension, increase in heart rate, it can cause heart burn, loss of focus and fatigue.

 

Moderation is the key in this situation, anything more than two cups of coffee is associated with arousal of autonomic nervous system, hence limiting coffee consumption to less than 1-2 cups per day can decrease stress and anxiety throughout the day.

 

2) Eating junk foods: Junk foods are ready made, so there's no hassle of cooking. They are munchy and delicious to eat. Junk foods are loaded with sugar, carbs & fats, so they taste good and give you an instant spike of glucose levels, but there's also a flip side to it...

Sudden increases in blood sugar, triggers the body to release insulin into the blood. Fast foods hardly have any fiber content so the glucose in them is quickly absorbed and metabolized, but it doesn't end there, the insulin continues to persist in blood for a fixed period of time and because junk foods don't have any real fiber content, insulin has nothing left to work on, so insulin feeds on the stable level of glucose in the blood and further reduces the glucose levels , this leaves you feeling dull, exhausted and anxious within a short period of consuming the fast food. So you end up feeling dull and anxious even though you have a full stomach!

 

3) Starving: When anxiety and stress come into the picture, we humans often behave irrationally, it is a common habit to skip food in times of anxiety or stress, but there is a flipside to this habit. Skipping meals can cause a low blood glucose level. Blood glucose level below 50mg/dl is known to increase irritability and anxiety. This becomes a vicious cycle, so the next time you feel irritable or anxious, make sure you have something to eat!

 

4)  Overeating: Just as starving can reduce blood sugars, over eating can spike blood sugars to very high levels. A blood sugar level above 300mg/dl is known to cause anxiety and irritability! Avoid very heavy meals when you are feeling anxious.

 

5) Unclean environment: Even though cleanliness is a downplayed factor, studies in human productivity have revealed that employees who often maintain a clean desk and clean work environment have high levels of productivity and low levels of anxiety and stress. The same applies to home environment. Can you imagine a happy healthy person living in a cluttered and dingy environment? Maintaining a clean and clutter free environment can be a small tweak you can add to your anxiety reducing regimen.

 

6) Not thinking on paper: We have 60.000 thoughts per day and it's a common habit for us to worry, however many problems in life are complex and cannot be solved by thinking alone, they need analyzing from different perspectives. The great writer Earl Nightingale proposed a simple method to solve problems. He proposed that we take a clean sheet of paper, write the problem in the form of a question and write down 20 solutions to the problem. Some of the cues/questions that you can use during this process are :

What is my source of anxiety and worry?
What can you do ?
Can you affect the outcome of the situation?  If so, how?
Think of the worst-case scenario? How can you avoid it?

 

7)  Negative self talk: It is estimated that of the 60,000 thoughts we have everyday, about 70-90% of them are negative or self defeating. Even in an optimistic and healthy individual, the estimated percentage of negative thoughts is around 20 % i.e. a whopping 12000 negative thoughts every day! What kind of impact do you think such thoughts can have on your energy?

Learning to replace "negative self talk" with "encouraging self talk" can greatly reduce the daily levels of anxiety. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to replace it with some "positive self-esteem" self-talk, be your own coach and supporter, because if you won't do it, nobody else will.

Make a list of the negative thoughts about yourself and write a list of positive thoughts you have about yourself, whenever you feel anxious, refer the list to identify the negative thought and replace it with a positive thought.

 

8) Ignoring family problems: Your family may need your help from time to time - to quote one of the famous psychologists. "There is no problem that is ignored by the subconscious", so even though you may be able to function at normal levels and ignore your family problems, these problems don't go away and they are not ignored by your subconscious.

Taking time to talk to your family members with an intention to help them can go a long way in maintaining healthy relationships and decreasing your overall levels of stress and anxiety.

 

9) Staying indoors in fluorescent lights: If you have a habit of staying you indoors for most of the day or if you work from home, you might end each day feeling anxious and burnt out.

Being under the glow of fluorescent light all day can worsen your anxiety.
In one particular survey, 53% of those who suffered from anxiety felt that their  anxiety attacks got worse when they saw fluorescent lights. Several studies have confirmed that fluorescent lighting is related to anxiety, poor attention, hyperactivity, stress and aggression. Researchers have also found that fluorescent lights are linked to worsened cases of agoraphobia.

 

If you suffer from increased anxiety when in a room with fluorescent lights, you might consider switching to full-spectrum lights, which has been shown to improve the mental function and moods of people who were suffering from anxiety.


Natural light is essential for optimal body and mind function, make sure you get outside for at least 15 minutes to half an hour every day, so that you get a break from fluorescent and a good breath of fresh air.

 

Author: Ryan Rivera from  Calm Clinic


 

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September 6th, 2011 at 3:29 pm

  Confident and happy people tend to attract more friends,

 

more opportunities and simply put, more of what they want. It seems effortless for them and while there may be some people who are naturally confident a good majority work at building their self esteem and confidence levels daily.

 

Here's what they do:

 

  • Spend more time with people who lift you up and less time with those who drag you down.        You know the people I am talking about. Chances are there are both types in your life. Those who always see the positive side of things and encourage you to keep trying and those naysayers who always see the glass as half empty and make sure to tell you all of the reasons why whatever it is you want in life cannot possibly happen. They are the ones who are always talking about what is wrong, with the country, the weather, their spouse or family or just life in general. You may not be able to avoid these people all together ( maybe you live or work with one) but you can limit your time with them and you can  change the subject when they go off on a tangent about what's wrong. If you are one of these people and you recognize it you are taking your first step towards a new you! Seek out people who are always positive and upbeat, join groups of people who are upbeat. Their confident and happy energy will naturally begin to rub off on you!
  • Repeat positive affirmations every day.  If you aren't used to doing this you might think it sounds silly but I am telling you it really does work to bring your energy up. I usually repeat mine when I go for a walk in nature with the dogs. Sometimes I say them in the shower and sometimes when I am alone in the car. Before I give a talk or present a workshop I always repeat positive affirmations.
  • Smile at everyone! The clerk at the grocery store, the lady standing next to you in line and anyone you come in contact with can be lifted up by your smile. When you lift up someone else you will naturally feel better about yourself.
  • Exercise  It doesn't matter what kind of exercise you choose just move! As you take better care of your body you will feel better about the way you look and feel. I recently started pilates and love the fact that it works on my core muscles. This is your power center so any kind of exercise that is focused on your core will strengthen the energy there and again you will walk away feeling more powerful and strong.
  • You may even choose to work with a life coach to help you become confident and happy!

 

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September 5th, 2011 at 8:50 pm

 

As an entrepreneur for the last twenty years I have found that my business goes in waves. It is either feast or famine. 

 

In talking to other entrepreneurs I find that this is common. When business is good it is really really good and I barely have time to breathe. I am grateful for the work but a part of me longs for a little time off also. :-)

 

And then it comes. The time off arrives and the first couple of days I relax, enjoying the time. after a couple of days I begin to get restless wondering when and if more work will come my way. When I first started in business this is when my panic set in. I rushed around doing everything I could to bring in more business. I was so busy doing and doing. I set up new marketing campaigns, met with  people, made phone calls and literally worked harder that during my "busy" season. I didn't enjoy the time off.

 

What I have learned is that when I can truely enjoy and be grateful for the gift of time I have received I move into what I call the flow. I am able to ride the waves, keeping my balance when I am on top and enjoying the ride when I am on the bottom. I have gratitude for 'what is' right now. This moment in time. After all isn't that all there really is?

 

Have you been given a gift of time lately?  Are you enjoying it?

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August 28th, 2011 at 4:37 pm

 

 

How Do You Deal With Stress?

 

 

According to the American Psychological Association a recent survey found that the most common ways people deal with stress is:

 

  • One-third of us either eat (22%) or drink alcohol (14%) to cope with stress;
  • Others rely on exercise (45%) and religious and spiritual activities (44%);
  • 14% turn to massage and yoga to relieve stress.

 

Quick fixes like eating and drinking alcohol don't work. While they may relieve your stress for a short period the solution is not long term. You could also end up with an eating or drinking disorder and/ or pack on extra weight which will only add to your stress levels.

 

The key to deal with stress is  not to try and eliminate stress from your life but to become stress resilient. Sometimes stress is beneficial and can help us to move forward in life, to achieve, to make changes, ect.

 

Stress resilient is when you are aware of the stress that you are experiencing and you are also aware of when it is pushing you forward and when it is pulling you back. With this level of awareness you are able to make changes in your routine such as exercising more, meditating and making time to take care of yourself.

 

A stress resilient person is able to handle the challenges that life brings, they are more productive, healthier and have better relationships.

 

 I was excited to see that so many people in this survey rely on exercise and spiritual community as a way to deal with stress.  These are both great ways. Massage and yoga and other practices such as meditation, deep breathing and EFT are all fabulous ways to deal with stress in your everyday life.

 

Author: Kathryn Watson- Kathryn has created a wonderful program called "Take Five" She teaches you how to become stress resilient in five minutes or less.

 

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August 22nd, 2011 at 10:44 am

 

I need more time! How to become a better time manager.
 
The last time I checked everyone had the same number of hours in the day, 24 to be exact. So why is it that some people seem to get so much more accomplished and have plenty of time for their family and to do the things they love? Are they just better time managers?

The truth is that it isn't about managing your time at all. It’s about managing your energy. The following five steps will help you on your way to reclaiming the life you want with plenty of time for everything.

 

 

  1. Know what you want
What do you value in life? Who do you value in life? If you found out that you only had a short time to live how would you want to spend it and with who? A lot of my clients tell me that family is top on their list but when we look at their day planner or PDA I rarely see family mentioned or any time left over for them. You have to make time for the people and things that are important to you. Go ahead and schedule them in just as you would an important client and remember, you would not cancel an appointment with your most important client would you?


2. Set your intention

By setting the intention to make more time for your family, the gym, playing soccer or whatever is important you will help your mind to stay focused on what you want. I suggest that you write your intention down and/or say your intention out loud first thing in the morning. When you start the day with intention and focus it will begin to seem as if you had extra hours in the day. By staying focused on your intention throughout the day you will be less likely to get sidetracked; spending lots of time doing those things that ultimately will lead us away from those we love. Remember it isn't about being a good time manager it's about being a good energy manager.

 

 

 
3. Let your right brain come out to play!

Most adults have forgotten how to play. Chances are that you may find it a useless activity that you just don’t have time for. Think again! Have you ever been frantically trying to find a solution to a problem only to have the obvious answer appear after a good nights sleep. Wonder why you didn’t think of that before?

During the day you probably tried to tackle the problem head on from an analytical or left brain point of view. When you drifted off to sleep your brain waves slowed down moving you into your intuitive and creative, right brain way of thinking. It was in this state that your brain was able to finally let go of the end result and thus find a perfectly logical solution you simply had not thought of before.

Do you have to go to sleep to solve problems? Not hardly. You can move your mind into a more relaxed right brain pattern with meditation, breathing techniques, visualization and sometimes by forgetting about the worries of the day with play! Run, not to exercise but just for the delight of it. Blow bubbles, play with your dog or a child, fly a kite, now when was the last time you did that?
One more time, I really want you to get this; It's not about being a good time manager it's about being a good energy manager.

4. Just say no

Say no to the things you do not want. My friend of mine says “That just doesn’t work for me”, when someone asks her to do something she doesn’t want to do. I have adopted this statement and I suggest that you do also. You cannot possibly do everything for everybody and trying to will eventually make you irritable. Go back to #1 and remember who and what you value. Make sure those are taken care of first before you say yes!


5. Notice the gifts of time
Clients often come to me telling me that they don’t have the time to relax. The truth is time is all around them, they simply fail to notice. Instead of huffing at the elevator for taking so long use this gift of time to slow your breathing down, offer kind words to the person standing next to you, or maybe even visualize a pleasant scene. The next time you are caught in a traffic jam give gratitude for the quiet time alone you have just been given. When your computer is down or you have to wait in line these are examples of gifts of time. You asked for time and here it is. The only difference is it didn’t come packaged as you imagined. Enjoy your time!

 

 

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